Insomniacs Anonymous

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I came up with a new idea for a game. it would be a drinking game, played by fans and viewers of C.S.I. (all versions), House, X-Files, Forensic Files, etc.- pretty much any show that shows an autopsy. and the object of the game is that every time you see an autopsy, you take a drink. it'll be called 'Autopsy Time' and I'll make up t-shirts that say "take a drink; it's autopsy time!' for the players and you'll be able to buy them in a kit with shot glasses that have blood stains or scalpels or rubber gloves on them. and it'll be huge because most normal people can't watch autopsies on tv without getting wasted on Ketel One and Skyy.

and now back to your regularly scheduled insomnia.

Cleo opened her eyes at 3:27 AM

Monday, September 26, 2005

"Our deepest fear is going crazy from loneliness. The only thing that helps me keep my slender grip on reality is the friendship I have with my collection of singing potatoes."

Alright, so maybe I'm not completely zonkers yet. it's just hard right now, trying to find something to snap me out of... whatever this is. the story of my life is finding someone or something that works, that makes me happy, then I lose them and I don't know why. invariably, it's explained as something I said or did or didn't say or didn't do. as though it's never their fault. maybe it is and maybe it isn't; I'm not judging. I'm just... lonely.
and when I'm lonely for too long, I start doing things that I know are not smart or safe or anything but a distraction. and I don't really care, because I need to be distracted.
human beings are designed to handle a lot of things, but loneliness is not one of them.

Cleo opened her eyes at 12:35 PM

Friday, February 18, 2005

saw this on Clawed's site; thought it was nif-teh. try it.

The voice that should mean the most is not the talking magnet.

Add a fortune to your website or
blog, click
here.

Cleo opened her eyes at 11:15 AM

Thursday, February 03, 2005

"What time did you come in last night, anyway? It must have been late, because I was in bed at midnight, and I know you weren't there."

Sorry it's been so long since my last update. holidays were hectic, but got a lot of awesome stuff (got a C.S.I. companion guide and locked myself in the bedroom for three days... that's not weird, right?) then, had to gear up for school and stuff. for as busy as I am, I'm still having a hard time finding stuff to fill the rest of my hours. poetry and reruns on tv only take up so much time.
ironic, considering that if there's one thing I can usually do fairly well, it's keep myself occupied. I can't always cheer myself up, or make myself more efficiently, or even keep a firm grasp on my emotional sanity... but oh yes, I can keep busy like no other.
if there was a cemetary nearby that resembled the one on BtVS, I could keep myself very entertained into the wee hours. although my vitamin C intake would climb exponentially to stave off subsequent illness from lying on cold marble and wet grass at all hours. *wry grin* and within the week, I would have the authorities after me for disturbing the peace of the predawn hours... probably by sappily singing Nightwish and "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" at the top of my lungs. Can't you just see me now?

Oh well, things beckon. most pressing is what to do for Valentine's Day [a.k.a. the miserable, alcoholism-inducing, greeting-card-company-spawned holiday] in 11 days.

til next post.

Cleo opened her eyes at 2:14 PM

Thursday, December 02, 2004

"I-I'm not - I'm not very good at - at, you know... " "Constructing sentences?"

have you ever had something to say, and you knew it had to be said, but you just couldn't find the right way to say it? it's like the ship gliding through the universe of language suddenly takes a nosedive into a blackhole of incoherence whenever the subject is even remotely broached. (look at that. I can be eloquent writing about the damn thing, and still can't come up with a good way to spit it out. ACK!

anyway, wedding was fairly uneventful. didn't catch the bouquet but did learn I have a gift with calming and quieting [other people's] young children. spent Thanksgiving with B and his family, trying new delicacies like deep fried turkey and green bean casserole. my dessert went over well, and the younger set burned off the meal with tickle wars and pillow fights. (word of warning: move all furniture out of the way and make sure zippers are covered before starting.)

in other news, there is no heat in my apartment, and winter wardrobe (including pajamas) has mysteriously disappeared into annals of storage. have resorted to layering summer clothing and using flannel lined sleeping bags for bedding. (if this continues, may have to turn on stove and climb in.)

school is going alright. have completed 5+ weeks of work for 2 classes in 2 days. (am really quite tired.) will complete final project for last class tomorrow, then have only to worry about one final and presents for professors and classmates next week. most other shopping and obtaining of presents has concluded; only two objects continue to elude me. but I shall prevail. *evil laughter* mwah ha ha ha ha. *clears throat* moving on...

must dash now. notes to study, tests to take, odd fan-fic stories to write, presents to finish, baking to do, sleeping pills to mix with alcohol. til next post.

"What are you doing two weeks on Saturday?" "Probably killing myself." "Excellent. What time does that finish? Cause there's a parade... Do you like boats?"

Cleo opened her eyes at 2:15 PM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

dear insoms,

2 weeks since my last post. wow. I've been busy. work, baking, homework, fights, shopping, trips, impending holiday madness (presents, food, social calendar, what to wear), and I have a wedding this weekend. a relative I haven't seen since we were kids, when we fought all the time anyway, just sends an invite out of the blue. go figure.

I'm also fighting off getting sick and losing my mind, and trying to get more sleep to help my battle. which is not as simple as it sounds. true there's rarely anything good on at 2:00 in the morning, but still, there is fun to be had. Like, last night, I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. (j/k)

well, homework calls. must dash. incidently, I highly recommend Hooverphonic for downtime music, esp. Inhaler; mellow rock undertone with a good beat and a house rhythm.

anyway. til next post. I'll let you know if I catch the bouquet.

Cleo opened her eyes at 6:15 PM

Thursday, November 04, 2004

"My dear girl, you can not keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there."

dear insoms,

this is one of those "if a tree falls in a forest" things. Up until 4 days ago, I was perfectly capable of going through life oblivious to the things I wanted to be oblivious about. Now, I've been catapulted out of my happy place and plunged headlong into reality... and I would like nothing more than to believe it's not really there. Unfortunately, that requires the ostrich mechanism which I no longer possess. *head thuds onto desk in despair* ohhhhh... this sucks.

In other news, class has become so boring I've taken up sporadic attendance. I'm going into a depression/insomnia induced baking spiral. (cookies and brownies and cakes-- oh my!) and the cause of my rude awakening (and object of the confusion to be discussed below) is due home in 2 days- with every expectation of seeing me. this really, really sucks.

Parting stuff: Staring at my computer screen around 3 the other morning, I was struck by a thought. Impure thoughts should always be confessed... just never to the person they're about. a possible addendum could be that people who are left out of them should also stay uninformed, but I kind of like it the way it is.

Cleo opened her eyes at 5:23 PM